'What does it mean to be a true friend?'
I found myself wondering the answer to this question just a few weekends ago, so I researched the answer (nerd alert) and found 25 little answers from people all over the world, the answers were all sweet, cheerful…and a little vomtastic! Just a few personal highlights from the answers to kick this post off,
'Always be there, even in silence'
'Be kind and listen. Be fun and light'
'Be genuinely happy when they get, receive or achieve something great'
'Accept the person as they are, as an individual, without conditions'
'Celebrate the wins and be there to support the losses.'
I told you they were cute.
But then it got me thinking…how many people can I call friends? Like real, 'I'll Be There For You' FRIENDS theme tune, friends. For sure I'm mega popular on Facebook (2,280 buds but whose counting…me btw), but how many a true. Has the desire for friends on 'social media' taken over from our need of actual real life friends? How many of us stay friends with people who do us more harm than good just because we are afraid that it will leave us lonely and, in my case, even more of an integral player for the #TeamHermits.
I think we first of all need to realise that we just outgrow people.
And that's ok.
Yes it's shitty, yes it sucks a camel's dangly bits, but sometimes it just gets to the stage where we no longer have anything in common with that person, or maybe you've finally irritated each other to the point of no return.
Think back to school, like right back, I'm talking infant school…how many friends did you have then? Easily you was friends with all 30 children in your class, including the kid who picked his nose so much that it bled all the freeking time (Hi Jamie).
At the time we thought these friendships would be forever, I had so many 'BFF's' I was set for life. (And I'd have so many instagram followers now if we stayed friends…grrrrr).
Then you move on. Secondary school hits us square in the face and bam, the friendship group gets a bit smaller, for sure still a lots of friends and the 13th Birthday Party invites seemed endless but did it last? Probz not.
*Side note, if your 13 and reading this…life is one hard ass bitch and eventually you'll end up with 5 friends and an addiction to sweet potato fries & Gossip Girl…enjoy!*
And this cycle carries on throughout life. Every couple of years a few more jump of the 'Pal Plane' never to be seen again.
But is this a bad thing? Hmmmmmm….for me, no it isn't. OOOOOHH controversial.
I've found that in the past year or so this has happened to me. Quiet a few times actually. And its happening again now. People I once spoke to everyday can now barely bring themselves to even say 'hello' back to me. And it's sad. But its also life. I'm a firm believer that people come into our lives for a reason and once their job has been done, they are free to go and be apart of another story…shit me, that was really beautiful. #Tearyface.
So we've covered the 'Outgrowing of Friends' but what about the 'Toxic Friends'? The 'Faux Friend'.
We all have them. Whether we choose to admit it or not.
I'm going to be brave and start it off…
'Hi, my name is Rianna Ellis and I've got some toxic friends'…and breathe.
It took me a little while to even realise that I had them nestled in my life, it was a bit like an easter egg hunt…but a really shit one where you discovered it wasn't chocolate in the egg, it was green tea. (Don't pretend you actually like dishwater guys).
It started for me when I realised what a liability this person was when we went out. They was always kicking off about something. Pushing, shoving, throwing a pair of tweezers (actually happened). It was not only embarrassing but it also made me, dare I say it, worried. Worried that it would kick off with strangers if they decided to run their mouth off to someone who would run there's 10 times harder. Like I'm all for an entertaining night out but a fight is a bit much for me…I'm not working with the best nose as it is.
Then the whole thing where they turn into a different person. Like Jekyll and Hyde 2.0. You'll go from their best bud to the butt of all their jokes in about 40 seconds flat, all because they want to impress someone else.
Oh but my personal highlight of this 'friendship' was the lack of support they gave. This friend never once wished me good luck for a dance competition, never once said 'well done pal' when I had achieved something great and never once actually asked how I was actually doing.
And that's not cool. It's actually seriously uncool…seriously. This is a serious post now. Serious face.
And if we can't be honest with ourselves and get that toxic friend out of life then, well…
we need to grow a pair and cut those strings…now! Tough love tonight ladies and gents.
If a 'friend' is making you feel unhappy, bin it. We need to love ourselves that little bit more to say that enough is enough. We can choose our friends, so why choose crappy ones?
Trust me when I say the only faux you want in your life is fur…cause that shit looks good on a coat.
Until next time,
I think we first of all need to realise that we just outgrow people.
And that's ok.
Yes it's shitty, yes it sucks a camel's dangly bits, but sometimes it just gets to the stage where we no longer have anything in common with that person, or maybe you've finally irritated each other to the point of no return.
Think back to school, like right back, I'm talking infant school…how many friends did you have then? Easily you was friends with all 30 children in your class, including the kid who picked his nose so much that it bled all the freeking time (Hi Jamie).
At the time we thought these friendships would be forever, I had so many 'BFF's' I was set for life. (And I'd have so many instagram followers now if we stayed friends…grrrrr).
Then you move on. Secondary school hits us square in the face and bam, the friendship group gets a bit smaller, for sure still a lots of friends and the 13th Birthday Party invites seemed endless but did it last? Probz not.
*Side note, if your 13 and reading this…life is one hard ass bitch and eventually you'll end up with 5 friends and an addiction to sweet potato fries & Gossip Girl…enjoy!*
And this cycle carries on throughout life. Every couple of years a few more jump of the 'Pal Plane' never to be seen again.
But is this a bad thing? Hmmmmmm….for me, no it isn't. OOOOOHH controversial.
I've found that in the past year or so this has happened to me. Quiet a few times actually. And its happening again now. People I once spoke to everyday can now barely bring themselves to even say 'hello' back to me. And it's sad. But its also life. I'm a firm believer that people come into our lives for a reason and once their job has been done, they are free to go and be apart of another story…shit me, that was really beautiful. #Tearyface.
So we've covered the 'Outgrowing of Friends' but what about the 'Toxic Friends'? The 'Faux Friend'.
We all have them. Whether we choose to admit it or not.
I'm going to be brave and start it off…
'Hi, my name is Rianna Ellis and I've got some toxic friends'…and breathe.
It took me a little while to even realise that I had them nestled in my life, it was a bit like an easter egg hunt…but a really shit one where you discovered it wasn't chocolate in the egg, it was green tea. (Don't pretend you actually like dishwater guys).
It started for me when I realised what a liability this person was when we went out. They was always kicking off about something. Pushing, shoving, throwing a pair of tweezers (actually happened). It was not only embarrassing but it also made me, dare I say it, worried. Worried that it would kick off with strangers if they decided to run their mouth off to someone who would run there's 10 times harder. Like I'm all for an entertaining night out but a fight is a bit much for me…I'm not working with the best nose as it is.
Then the whole thing where they turn into a different person. Like Jekyll and Hyde 2.0. You'll go from their best bud to the butt of all their jokes in about 40 seconds flat, all because they want to impress someone else.
Oh but my personal highlight of this 'friendship' was the lack of support they gave. This friend never once wished me good luck for a dance competition, never once said 'well done pal' when I had achieved something great and never once actually asked how I was actually doing.
And that's not cool. It's actually seriously uncool…seriously. This is a serious post now. Serious face.
And if we can't be honest with ourselves and get that toxic friend out of life then, well…
we need to grow a pair and cut those strings…now! Tough love tonight ladies and gents.
If a 'friend' is making you feel unhappy, bin it. We need to love ourselves that little bit more to say that enough is enough. We can choose our friends, so why choose crappy ones?
Trust me when I say the only faux you want in your life is fur…cause that shit looks good on a coat.
Until next time,
I love this thread and you're so right xxx
ReplyDeleteVery true; I hope a lot of young girls read this and take it in.
ReplyDelete