"Something has changed within me, something is not the same..."

 

Soz huns to have been away for such a long time but I have been holding space for “Defying Gravity” lyrics and it’s TOTALLY eaten right into my spare time, you know how it is. 

 

(Hehe, current TikTok/pop culture reference there…I am cool and I’m down with the kids…and I am cool, really, I am…and I’m definitely not old even though I’m nearly thirty…oh that’s happening soon…really really soon actually…oh god I am old, and I am so very uncool…)

 

*Ahem*

 

ANYHOOOOOOOOOO.

 

Wicked has, single handedly, defrosted the enormously insufferable theatre kid who has lived inside of me since the very first time I saw the Lion King twenty years ago and you know what, I am as here for this resurgence as I am Mariah and Buble making their annual reappearance during the festive period- I’m a big fan.

 

I’ve seen the movie twice now and let’s be real, I’ll be seeing it on the big screen again within the next week (I’m getting withdrawal symptoms already) Oh and I’ll be going again when the sing along version comes out too- although thoughts and prayers to the person sitting next to me when I belt Cynthia’s new spicy ending to ‘The Wizard and I’.

 

I love musicals. I love movies. So, a movie musical is pretty much my version of a dog hearing “do you wanna go walkies” and let me tell you, I’ve practically “zoomied” into the cinema on both occasions of seeing it. I’m not here to write a review or a plea to go and see it but I will say this- it’s one of the best movie musicals of all time, best movie of the year (you can have your opinion…but, its wrong xoxo), the soundtrack is next level, choreography is something else and the sets are pure magic. Jon M Chu is the ONLY person who should direct musicals for screen from now until the end of time, Ariana is, surprisingly, a comedic delight and the most perfect Ga/Glinda, *THAT* cameo is perfection, the whole cast are wonderfuland Cynthia is just otherworldly and beyond talented, deserves ALL the claps. And breathe. 

Oh, and Jonathan Bailey has no business being that sexy, alluring and then being gay…what on earth did men do to deserve him? He even had chemistry with the fucking books.

But I’m not here to sell it (even though I probably just have to those of you who were thinking about going to see it and…you’re most welcome). No no, I’m here because my brain can’t watch something nice, enjoy it like a normal person and then move on and continue with my life- instead, I hyper fixate on it, let it burrow inside my mind, dive into every nook and cranny thinking about it, daily (god I do need help, don’t I?) allow it to fully consume me and then eventually inspire/irritate myself enough that I then HAVE to write about it as it takes up so much space in my skull that it wants to burst…thanks brain, u da best.

 

(A RiRi in my brain: “WAIT…Ri, before you get on your high horse and link parts of the fictional plot to an unfortunate reality you are assuming that everyone who reads this (all 4 people, including Mum) have seen Wicked the Musical?”

Another RiRi in my brain: “Oh yeah good point, not everyone is as obsessive as you”

RiRi 1 “Give them a little run down of the plot ‘sitch and then giddy up girl, dissect away like the English literature student you should have been all those year ago”

RiRi 2 “Oh yeah, imagine if you’d actually applied yourself and put as much effort into coursework as you do in your writing now…”

Me RiRi “Huns, don’t do us publically like that…although you do have a point, on both things…if Mr. Morgan could see us now…”)

 

A very brief description of Wicked the Musical by Rianna Ellis:

 

“A quirky twist on the beloved classic, “The Wizard of Oz” two witches, Elphaba and Glinda (who we all know as The Wicked Witch of the West and The Good Witch of the South) start as college roommates with wildly different personalities. Their friendship evolves amidst political intrigue, challenging the perceptions of “good” and “evil” in Oz”. 

 

(All RiRI’s: “That was actually pretty fucking good- insert sassy hand emoji”).

 

I’ve let my thoughts simmer for a little while with this one though, as a lot of feelings did muster up, and to be honest with you it would have been an incoherent mess if I’d written sooner (bold of me to assume that any of my writing is anything other than that but, we roll) but one of the loudest thoughts is this one-

 

What makes you different is also what makes you powerful. And we must OWN. IT.

 

Elphaba is green. She is different. She doesn’t fit in. She has magical powers, real ones at that, and the very things that make her magical are the things the world tells her to hide, change or “fix”. 

 

That is until the powers in Oz understand they can use her for their own personal gain so they then reward, highlight, compliment, even love her (which, is what she wants…to be accepted and seen not as the oddball/weirdo/outcast…totally fair by the way, we don’t really like being the odd ones out you know!) all while hoping she’ll fall into their hands and become something they can control, regulate and take advantage of. But her authenticity and truthfulness in doing “the right thing” becomes increasingly dangerous to a corrupt Wizard and co and they turn her into the villain. 

 

The same ability that makes her invaluable to them makes her almost impossible to contain.  She rejects the one thing she truly wants because its coming from a dishonest, immoral and WICKED gifter. She absolutely could choose to stay, after all Glinda, her best friend, does (more on her later), to do what is expected of her just like she always has done, staying would give her the acceptance she had always craved, wanted, needed. She knows all of this. And yet, she chooses to fly. She knows now what her truth looks like, and even though no one else likes the reality of her truth, she knows that denying it will destroy her. 

 

And it will destroy us every single time too.

 

Now, this isn’t me saying that I think I’m Elphaba. I’m very aware I haven’t taken down a political charlatan (yet) nor have I created the most cinematic shot of 2025 by flying on a broom into a sunset like a superhero (also yet).  But, I would like to think I have some glimmers of her strength, power and a strong sense of justice inside me though- actually, I do genuinely have a really tricky time digesting and “swallowing” people doing morally wrong things, across the whole line of it. And I have isolated and removed myself many times from people, things, places that don’t sit well on my moral compass. And I definitely have lived through the soul-destroying realisation of the inauthenticity and shady practices of positions I once dreamed about holding/ from people I idolised.

 

But I also know I could be more ‘Elphaba’. I wantto be more ‘Elphaba’.

 

We love to think of Elphaba and Glinda as counterparts, especially in the Wizard of Oz, but really, to me anyway, they are two sides of the same coin. The represent the duality in all of us. We’ve all had an ‘Elphaba’ moment (some more than others)- struggling, misunderstood, unrecognised, fighting against the odds. And we’ve all been a ‘Glinda’ (again, some more than others). Popular, adored, propped up on a pedestal and then ending up standing in the spotlight with a big choice to make. Do we remember where we came from or ignore the past that shaped us? 

 

Glinda isextremely flawed. As is Elphaba. But Glinda’s choices, especially as the story progresses, are just plain wrong. She uses her niceness in a ‘performative way’, carefully crafted to gain popularity with others and to create this false image of who she truly is as she struggles to do truly ‘good’ things if it will cost her her personality. 

 

But, in so many ways, she is most of us. As I said, we like to envision ourselves as an Elphaba, it takes an astonishing sense of courage and strength to do what’s right in the face of adversity, especially when you have so much to lose. Glinda is, admittedly, a victim in the fascist regime that takes over, however… she, herself, decided to stay. 

 

Because she thought it would benefit her.

 

Does it make her a villain? No. But it does make her weak, cowardly and complicit in an unfair system.

 

In both the “real world” and the “dancing world” (soz for my dancing muggle readers, I’ll get you up to speed though- really quick, exactly the same shit show) we are facing unprecedented times of unjust, divisiveness and turmoil. 

 

‘Wicked’, and after an extensive Google deep dive, L. Frank Baum’s ‘The Wizard of Oz’ book, are political satires. The latter written in 1900 and the other in 1995 yet, still so heartbreakingly relevant to today’s world. Wicked is about a charlatan who tricks a land full of people into believing he is godlike and superhuman. Through fear and hate he creates a ‘common enemy’ to unite all the people (quote- “The best way to bring folks together is to give them a real good enemy”.) He strips away minorities rights and takes away their voices and eventually, removes them. And when a capable woman rises up to defy him, he paints her into this evil witch and persecutes her. Sound familiar?

 

Now, for most of us, we are merely a speck of insignificance to the ‘main players’ in both worlds and again, their actions and choices don’t always “directly” affect us. And I guess, with this, we have the luxury- like Glinda, of being able to step aside, “wait and see” or even try to work within the system that has been thrust upon us. We can take a step back because of privilege- and it’s a privilege we forget day in, day out. What Elphaba does is an extreme risk and unbelievably brave and goes against our natural instinct of ‘self-preservation’ but it’s necessary. And it’s what we should ALL aspire to do in situations where we can make a stand, where we can make a difference…or even a least try to. It made me feel genuinely uncomfortable to think that maybe my reality is that I can sometimes lean to being more like Glinda for fear of being ostracised or punished for my political view, in both life and dancing.

 

People, not all, but a fair whack do turn you into a villain because you don’t agree with their opinion. Then there are others who shame you just because you did use your voice. Then comes the campaign to attack your character with the intent to scare you into submission all while making it seem like you’ll lose everything and everyone. I’ve experienced both of these in a multitude of situations, where even people who I thought were dear friends turned on me and decided to use me as a scapegoat to put themselves “above” and keep me “in my place”.

 

So, when tears were literally STREAMING down my face at the end of the movie (well the eye taps were turned on, full blast, from the first note of the first song “No One Mourns the Wicked” to be completely factual- told ya, I’m a big musical theatre girlie at heart hehe) it wasn’t only because the film is visually a treat, or that the songs are a literal sucker punch to the soul OR because Cynthia and Ariana’s cosmic pairing is one of the best things the world will ever get to witness (totally understand why so many tears all press junket now by the way). It was because I deeply understood the strength and nerve it takes to say no to what you thought you wanted, who you thought you wanted and to stand in your own truth even when others very much disagree with you. 

 

Most of us have had to walk into rooms like Elphaba does at the ‘OzDust Ballroom’, a room we have been invited into as the ‘entertainment’ and instantly felt the stares, the snickers, the catty comments muttered under hushed tones. I can remember once attending a dancing event where I was told by my “friends” who I went with- who are much bigger fish in the pond than I am dahhhhhhling (you’re actually just more willing than I am to pump money into the system but you carry on babs), that I couldn’t sit next to them in the 2^ndrow because it “goes in like a ‘rank order’ Ri, so…move back”- which turned out to be total bollocks by the way, they had just created this dancing caste system inside their own synthetic opulent minds to make themselves seem more important than they actually are. But we’ve readjusted our pointy hats, raised our heads high, held back tears and shown the room we intend to stay. We’ve watched bystanders who we assume would speak up or have our backs, because we’ve always supported them, remain silent.

 

This isn’t a call for sympathy, because I know so many others- in both worlds, have it so much harder than I could ever dream about. This is a piece to share how fiction transcends just being on screen, how the ‘Land of Oz’ is much closer to the place there is no other like. We live as these characters. Reality and fantasy forever intertwine as one and that’s what makes moments like this film’s release even more magical. 

 

Wicked has always had the ability to be relatable, but mainly to those fortunate enough to see the show. With the worldwide cinematic release, it has allowed the story to be seen and felt by a whole new audience, in a whole new way.

 

Disabled people see themselves in it. LGBTIQ+ see themselves. Women, of all races, see themselves. The outcasts, the nerds, the weirdo’s, the neuro- divergent…everyone can find a piece to hold in their heart. Its more than a movie, it feels like the most cathartic experience since Barbie. The point of this film is for people to feel seen. If we could all learn and take with us the lessons from the movie into our own worlds, we’d be living in much better versions of them. 

 

So, here’s to the Elphaba’s of the world- those who speak up, stand out and stay fierce and true to themselves, even when the world doesn’t quite understand why. We keep fighting, we keep shining. We aren’t ‘wicked’, we are ‘heroic’- and I for one, will continue letting my inner Elphaba defy gravity.

 

Now, what ice cream do you want as we’re in the interval now getting ready for part two…we’ve got 11 months so chop chop and decide, we going Vanilla or Chocolate?